Stoned Planet: A Partier's Guide to Southeast Asia by Jordan ______ Writer's note: the following story is about drug use. If you find this offensive or if it is illegal in your territory to read and/or possess such material, please stop and throw it away. I in no way condone the illegal use of illicit drugs, nor is any of the information contained herein meant as a recommendation to abuse illicit drugs. Drug abuse is a disease. Users are losers. Party safely. With almost 40% of the tourists arriving in Southeast Asia between the ages of 15 and 34 years old, and with a significant percentage of those staying for more than your normal two-week holiday in order to backpack inexpensive countries-Thailand, Indonesia, Cambodia, Vietnam, to name a few-you're likely to find just as many illegal drugs here as you would at any rave back home. Except the users here aren't scoring designer ecstasy or cocaine (ecstasy, for example, isn't widely available since the cost of a single pill, likely produced in Europe, equals the average monthly wage of a Burmese hotel worker). Instead, the travelers are expanding their minds with cheap and widely available weed, speed and opium. Ask Pam and Carl, a couple backpacking Thailand and Laos for four months, and you'll hear a familiar refrain: "It's relaxing. Even though we're in a foreign country, risking jail or a Midnight Express situation, it's cheaper and infinitely more exciting to smoke a joint and try something new.." Midnight Express, of course, refers to the infamous 1970's film written by Oliver Stone in which an American tourist rots for years in a Turkish jail after getting caught smuggling hash at the airport. THE LOWS Midnight Express isn't the only horror story, either. Among backpackers in Asia, where reading "mind-opening" books and novels on the beach and in cafes is a glorified pastime, books like Damage Done, by Warren Fellowes-about one man's 12-year stint in a Bangkok jail for smuggling dope-and Mr. Nice-Richard Marks' unwavering biography as one of the biggest international drug smugglers of all time-are two perennial favorites. If you're an insistent partier, then the main lesson you'll learn from these books is that you'd better be careful when you're getting high. While the police aren't pro-actively waging a drug war on foreign backpackers, it won't take long before you hear the tale of some imprudent joint smoker who's had to pay a hefty "fine" to get his passport back and then flew out the next day to avoid further prosecution. Bribes and extortion are common currency in Southeast Asia. To a cop who makes about $100/month, your presence as a "rich" westerner can be very alluring if you're caught rolling a joint. It gets much worse in Malaysia, where a zero-tolerance drug law is enforced with the death penalty. Officials estimate that around a dozen foreigners are killed every year for violating Malaysian drug laws. For the most part, though, local police aren't sophisticated enough to catch those who are smart enough to take the necessary precautions before lighting up. As Pam casually admits, "You have to be pretty stupid to get caught here. I saw this guy walking Kao San Rd. [the ever-popular backpacker haunt in Bangkok] with a joint. And the police just pounced on him. I mean, what do you expect?" QVC (Quality, Value, Commitment) For one thing, expect to be tempted. The prices are low, and the quality is good. In Laos, where backpackers smoke weed grown by the banks of the mighty Mekong River, quarter-ounce bags often cost less than $1. Opium, widely available on jungle treks in northern Thailand, is also a good deal, compared to what you'd pay in Europe or America, if you could find it there (which you probably won't). Inhaling 10 hits in an opium den, one traveler in Laos will spend less than a few US dollars. Jared, an Australian traveling in Laos, describes his sentiment: "It's a feeling of well-being. You lie down, watch them mix it up [often with acetaminophen, to facilitate burning], take a really deep breath and pull in as much as you can. Then you float into dreamland. It's pretty spectacular, especially in a small village in the middle of nowhere." Being in the middle of nowhere on a hill-tribe trek in Thailand or Laos also means you're far less likely to get busted. However, the effect on the local populations, who make a great deal of money selling you opium, are often more tragic. In fact, the results of years of trekking in Thailand are an alarmingly high opium addiction rate among hill tribes. Although Asian governments, with significant aid from western nations, have taken steps to curb opium cultivation and use, the financial incentives, combined with travelers' keen appetite for experimentation, are too strong to resist. THE PARTY: WHERE (NOT) TO GO Besides the capital cities (Bangkok, Jakarta, and Kuala Lumpur), which are racing towards modernization, the smaller towns offer some of the liveliest partying. The Full Moon parties on Koh Pangnan in southern Thailand are a nice place to start, but most travelers agree that what was once a spiritual gathering has reached an over-commercialized boiling point. Here is a short list of places slightly off-the-beaten track (some more, some less) where you can experience the drug trade in unusual environments. 1) Northern Thailand. The Golden Triangle, which connects Thailand with Burma and Laos, has been a favorite destination of travelers since it gained fame as the top opium-producing spot in the late 1970's. The warlord Khun-Sa, with the covert help of the US military, established a stronghold here during the Vietnam war era. It's no longer the world's top poppy producer-that title now belongs to Afghanistan-but you need not look far to sample opium, the wonder drug Thomas de Quincey, famed British writer, called "the secret of happiness. a panacea for all human woes." Jungle trekking with a local guide to visit the hill tribes is the logical choice for most users wanting a taste. You're better off trekking from anywhere besides Chiang Mai, which has been overrun with dubious mass-market trekking agencies looking for cash in on the tourism boom. Top destinations: Chiang Rai, Pai (check out the waterfall), & Mae Hong Son. What you'll find besides opium on jungle treks: Marijuana, "Yaba" (speed pills) and heroin. Costs: Low 2) Laos. Slowly catching on as an alternative to more crowded Thailand (it counted less than 200,000 visitors during "Visit Laos Year 1999," compared to over 7 million in neighboring Thailand during the same period), Laos offers essential rural simplicity. Trekking is just beginning to grow as a business in the north, so for the meantime opium dens are the obvious lure for partiers. Don't be fooled by Hollywood or what you've read in historical novels, though: the dens here are dark and decrepit. Jared explains: "It's like a sewer sometimes. We once went with this guy to an opium den and the ceiling is like 4-feet high. We're crouched down, stepping over spaced-out bodies in the mud and then they tell us to lay our head down on this disgusting pillow, which is like the rattiest I'd ever seen. It's gross. But it's all part of the experience." Top destinations: Muang Sing, Pakbeng, Luang Prabang & Van Vieng. What you'll find besides opium dens: Marijuana, Yaba (speed pills), and more opium dens. Costs: Very low 3) Indonesia. Though predominantly Muslim like its Malaysian neighbor to the north, Indonesia neither possesses the resources to fight a drug war, nor is it interested in one. Aceh (pronounced government forces in recent years have kept tourists away, but if you're smoking weed anywhere in Indonesia, it's more than likely that it came from Aceh. And if you're brave enough to venture there, and you should because it's one of the most ecologically diverse areas in all of Southeast Asia (it contains endangered wildlife, billowing volcanoes, white-sand beaches, lengthy caves, ancient rainforests, and towering waterfalls), you'll be handsomely rewarded with top- quality marijuana. In towns like Ketambe (where you can smoke joints and then go watch orangutans in the wild), marijuana flows freely: literally, the locals will give it to you, if you ask. Top destinations: Aceh and Sumatra What you'll find besides marijuana in Aceh: Magic mushrooms, delivered to your guest house, in Lake Toba Costs: Very low 4) Cambodia. As the recent book "Off the Rails in Phnom Penh: Guns, Girls and Ganja," by Amit Gilboa, implies, Cambodia is more wild west than pacified east. Street robberies are common and if you see someone obeying a traffic signal in the capital city, let me know. The 1999 arrests of the "seven old ladies," who had been selling marijuana in the very public "Russian Market" (Tuol Tumpong) for a decade, was thought to signal the government's crackdown on the illegal drug trade. Within hours of the arrest though, one recently arrived tourist appeared unconcerned: "I already have a shopping bag of weed in my guesthouse. I don't think anyone's going to notice an effect." On the same topic, one police chief said the arrest was a mistake. "I am very disappointed. I heard the policeman arrested them because they were trying to extort money and the ladies wouldn't pay. Why don't they arrest the big drug dealers?" Among the stashes seized were several boxes of pre-rolled marijuana cigarettes, which is one of the novelties in Phnom Penh, saving you the hassle of papers or a pipe. Heroin, easy to find, cheap, and decent quality, is a slightly riskier proposition. Spaced-out users usually flock to the guesthouses by Phnom Penh's Bang Kok lake, where vast wood terraces stretch out onto the water and hammocks hang from every available pole. Even expats come here in the late afternoon to watch the sunsets and get stoned with the backpackers. Top destinations: Phnom Penh, Siem Reap (site of the famous Angkor Wat temples) What you'll find besides marijuana: Heroin, liquid ketamine (or "K", which must be boiled to make the powder you'll want to snort), and of course more marijuana. Costs: Low 5) Malaysia. Border signs caution all tourists that violation of Malaysian drug laws can, and will, be punishable by death. Consider yourself warned. Penang, Malaysia's 2nd largest city and one of Asia's key trading ports, retains much of its colonial heritage, including the seedy heroin tradition from the 17th and 18th centuries. A walk along the side streets perpendicular to Penang's main drag, Lebuh Chulia, reveals a host of characters eager to sell you heroin, if only to support their own habit. In Kota Bahru, a fiercely Muslim town on the east coast that acts as most backpackers' gateway to the heavenly Perhenthian Islands, the drug scene, like the rest of Malaysia, is grim. Marijuana costs a small fortune, and the quality, for what you're paying, is shit. You can party in Malaysia, but the paranoia and the price aren't worth it. Avoid Malaysia if you can't go a day without a joint. Top destinations: Penang, Koto Bahru, Melaka What you'll find besides bad heroin and marijuana: Ecstasy, in more progressive Penang, if you're lucky. Costs: High NEW HIGHS The latest trend in Southeast Asia is the introduction of Yaba, literally "crazy horse medicine" in Thai. Manufactured primarily in Burma, but intended solely for export purposes, Yaba, or "Burmese ecstasy" as some veteran backpackers call it, is prevalent among Thai high schoolers, money boys (male prostitutes) and long-distance drivers. Similar in effect to speed, Yaba is a small pink pill that produces instant euphoria and hours of wakeful energy. Abuse it and you'll understand why the locals call it "crazy." Paranoia, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite are common side effects. One pill costs about 100 Thai Baht (about $2.50) and can last a few hours. Yaba presents a dire threat to youngsters, however, as use among teens grows each year at a frightening pace. The fact that a large majority of Yaba is actually produced in neighboring Burma, under the protection of the military junta, means you're likely doing more damage to the region's fragile geo-political stability than to your own body. It's worth keeping that in mind when you're wired on Yaba and still awake the next morning, when you'll probably want to visit the local pharmacist for sleeping pills. Just like Tijuana in years past, where prescription pill-hungry Californians (without prescriptions) used to load up on generic versions of Valium or Ritalin, a few Asian pharmacies will gladly help you choose a sleeping or diet pill, depending your mood. Each pill will cost you as much a few meals on the street (up to $1/pill) but if you've spent a whole night on Yaba, you'll be thankful there's something available to knock you out when you're jonesing for sleep. Again, words of caution: be discrete. One call to the police precinct and you'll be spending a lot longer overseas than you planned. BUZZ-KILL The police, lest you forget, will turn your trip into a nightmare. Of course you're presumed guilty until proven innocent. Do not expected to be treated kindly. Besides the obvious language barrier, through which you'll be struggling to explain your side of the story, you're facing a judicial system that shows little, if any, sympathy for drug-using tourists. After all, you're a visitor in their country, a privilege you've been granted by a combination of an official visa stamp and your relative wealth that enables world travel. If you're lucky, you might find the opportunity to settle the matter with a cash bribe, but more likely you'll end up like a growing number of tourists scattered around Southeast Asian prisons. In guesthouses throughout Kao Sahn Road in Bangkok, you'll notice posts on the bulletin boards listing the names of foreign inmates in the local jails, inviting travelers to pay a visit. These names are real, and their stories are a brutal reminder: partying can be fun, and in Asia, it's more of an adventure than you're used to. Just remember: be careful. Warning: file_get_contents(http://www.aboutmytalk.com/getcommenthtml.php?defaultforum=34&text=Click+here+for+the+Story+from+AboutMyTravel.Com&subject=Travel+Story%3A+Stoned+Planet%3A+A+Partier%92s+Guide+to+Southeast+Asia&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aboutmytravel.com%2Fmain.php3%3Faction%3Ddisplayarticle%26artid%3D359) [function.file-get-contents]: failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 403 Forbidden in /home/aboutmyt/public_html/codebase/articleclass.php3 on line 264 Related Articles: Hedonism in Ibiza for my 21st Birthday. 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